Transitions have a tendency to creep up on us, even when we are fully aware change is coming. And change is difficult for everyone, especially children and their families. Whether it is the transition back to school after summer break, out of school for winter or summer break, adjusting to a new routine, visiting a different dentist, getting a new pet, or changing bedtime, transitioning to something new or different is challenging. Transitions are full of complexities both logistically and emotionally! Kids might feel both excited and nervous. At the start of school, they may be eagerly anticipating their reunion with friends while mildly dreading the reintroduction of homework into their lives. When visiting a new dentist, they may be excited about the cool new lobby but nervous about the sounds of the dental hygienist drilling in their mouth. After introducing a new bedtime, parents may be both disappointed to have not quite as much flexibility in the evenings and excited about their child’s growth and strides toward independence. And on top of all of these emotions, adjusting schedules and logistics during transitions can be quite chaotic! 

So how do we manage all of this? First and foremost, it is important to honor any and all feelings related to transitions. This applies to both your kids and you, parents! Validate, validate, validate! All of the feelings that come up should be welcome to be there. Furthermore, we can attempt to minimize some of the chaos and anxiety by preparing for transitions with some simple steps aimed at priming us for success.



1. Keep a family calendar

This may seem like the most basic suggestion, but having a collaborative calendar where everyone’s schedules, events, and methods of transportation are listed out can be extremely helpful. Encourage your kids to fill in their events and activities. If your kids aren’t overly fond of calendars, make their participation more fun by allowing them to color code, draw, or add stickers. Having a visual map and reminder of everything upcoming helps to reduce anxiety and increase autonomy! 

2. Do a trial run

Practice enables us to feel more comfortable. So doing a trial run of a new routine, like getting to school on time or walking through classes can allow your child to feel more confident with the things they need to do. Exposure also reduces fear and anxiety! 

3. Gradually adjust your sleep

Many parents introduce a new bedtime by abruptly adjusting what time their child goes to sleep. Typically though, that adjustment isn’t something that can happen overnight. Make this adjustment easier by incrementally shifting your sleep and awake times toward the desired schedule. Small shifts lead to success.

4. Provide cues

Visual and verbal cues are huge in helping both adults and children adjust to change. If you’re getting a new puppy and have to adjust to having a new pet and a walking schedule, leave a kennel out for a week beforehand as a visual reminder, or set an alarm each day a week prior for the times you’ll plan on taking the dog for a walk. Cues help us with gradual adjustment as opposed to suddenly engaging in new behaviors. 

5. Make changes slowly

You’ll notice a theme among the four tips above - slow and steady wins the race! When we suddenly introduce a new routine, the transition can feel vastly more difficult. We learn, grow, and heal in small pieces at a time. Making changes at a slower pace helps us take in information in a way that feels more grounding rather than overwhelming.

6. Rely on consistency

Something as simple as a family dinner during a time of change can feel extremely comforting for everyone involved. When one thing changes, it is helpful to sit in the safety of something else staying the same! If that consistent and safe experience for your family is a dinner together, make it happen! If it is weekly game night, make sure to prioritize that game night in the midst of change.

7. Normalize stress or nervousness

Even when we do our best to prepare, transitions are stressful. They can feel scary, especially to kids. Normalize those feelings! Feelings are never wrong or bad. It is totally understandable to feel worried or anxious about transitions. Name this to your child when they express those feelings. And don’t forget to remind yourself that these feelings are okay if you notice you’re experiencing them as well!

8. Notice your own reactions so you can manage feelings related to change

As adults, we are also entitled to have feelings and reactions to change and transitions. And it is ok for the kids in our lives to know that we feel that way! So long as we do not make our child feel responsible for holding our feelings or helping us through them. It is healthy to demonstrate experiencing and moving through emotions, processing them, and managing our behaviors as a result. Managing your own responses is crucial in cultivating safety for your child.

9. Take time to debrief

Discussing how something went or is going can be a means to readjust if necessary. It is also the perfect opportunity to listen to the feelings of those involved. Make space for an intentional conversation about progress, feelings, and feedback.

10. Allow room for independence and self-advocacy

Challenging experiences are perfect learning opportunities. It is your job as a parent to find the balance between being supportive and allowing your child to have moments of independence and autonomy. Challenging experiences also present the perfect space for your child to practice self-advocacy. Prompt your child to ask for help when they need it!

No transition is seamless, but these tips can help ease some of the difficulty and soothe some of the anxiety. Now that we’ve gone through ten different strategies to help you and your family through changes or transitions, I hope your largest takeaway is this: take it slow, and just do your best to set you and your family up for success.